It has come to my attention...

So.... it's true. Chewy is my co-pilot, and, besides Chewie cameraderie stuff, I still have something to ask Harrison if I ever run into him: why on earth no "Regarding Henry 2"?

And there's this: Chewy isn't exactly an original name. Or idea. Or blog subject.

The other night, one of the too-friendly (it is nice, yes yes) women at the front desk asked me for Choo's name. I am still not sure if I'm supposed to say it -- some of my classmates say, Don't! Someone could call her and steal her away! But I'm -- yaknow -- overcommunicative.... and a name is what it is: meaningless without the substance behind it, without manner and knowledge and background and foreground. So, I say the name. Her name. Out loud.

To the hotel chick I say, Chuie. She says, that's a good name. I say, sure. She says, my parents have a lapso apso whose name is Chewy. I stop and pay attention now: what? She says, my parents have a... and i interrupt, I heard you -- my god -- that's so freaking random... it's Chewey? Your parents' dog's name? She says yes! It is! Unh huh! ... like it's no lightning strike deal that her folks (who are probably my age!) and I, have doggies with the same name.

I want -- crave -- unique.. and it's as if she's heard the name a thousand times.

I say, do you know any other Chewydogs?

She says yes. I think I do, she says. I slap my forehead and move on. But I stop and whirl: how, I ask earnestly, do they spell it? Like the granola bars, she says.

Then... I had the Chelsea Handler show (yes -- we're related) -- on the other night -- (holy muther do I despise hotel -- ie, non-dvr-able, ad-addled cable television) -- and her opening bit was about she and her pal, her sidekick, doing this and that, runnin around WeHo or wherever, snarkily, godlessly, ordering lattes, pulling fishing line across pedestrian walkways and making fun of non blondes, non hots, not cutes, non cools.

And her sidekick's name... Ms Handler says, is Chewy. He's not a dog, thankfully. It's a little tiny stocky dude. No, he doesn't look like me. Yes: he's adorable, like my Chooey. No, he doesn't spell it with an "ie" -- which is leading the Spell a Ladyservicedog's Name Poll. (Please -- again -- send me an email if you'd like to weigh in - philhand13@gmail.com).

So I got to checkin' out the Chewie's here and Chuy's there... and there are more than a few... and there's one limping little dog here who's PISSED. Like her handler, she itches and scratches (yeah) for wit and wisdom. For, originality.

Then there are the competition-by-blog (all real):

http://www.chewydog.com/

http://www.geocities.com/pugdogz1/

http://verychewy.com/

http://www.chewyjunior.com.sg/

http://bitsofmarshmallows.blogspot.com/


A few people have called her (not to her, bc they're not allowed to engage her... but, to me)... Granola Girl.

They say it, and I stare at them unblinkingly, blankely. Or stare at the computer or text, similarly.

They, eager to explain their funny funny joke: "She's gonna live in San Francisco!"

Me: "Um."

(and, scene).

Another person chatted me, "How's Pelosi's broken toe?"

I made a face and typed. Hunh?

"Female? In charge? San Francisco?"

I do a director-ordered eye roll and type, "Chewy wants a timetable for troop withdrawal, but stem-cell's her pet issue. (Pet?) A cure brings freedom from her indentured servitude. And health care. She can be set free."

The 'friend' wrote, "That's so cute! Troop withdrawal! Hee!"

Lord.

I guess I'm pretty much for sure going to be Princess Leah for Halloween.